Let's debunk the entertaining myth that only the food & beverage-savvy can be successful hosts. Everyone can entertain, and now's the time to learn the fundamentals of being a gracious host!
One of my family's favorite shows is MythBusters . Each episode, hosts Adam and Jamie create a whole series of experiments to definitively prove or debunk a commonly held belief. We've learned that unbelievably, a disgusting mixture of vodka and cinnamon can replicate the qualities of most store-bought mouthwashes, but that contrary to popular belief, you can swim right after eating, with no ill effects.
The typical entertaining myth is that in order to be a successful host, one must possess the etiquette of Emily Post, the cooking skills of Graham Kerr, and the decorating skills of Martha Stewart. In truth, to be a good host, all you need is the desire to welcome people into your space and the courage to do so.
We all know someone who fits the bill of the unwilling host. He's the person who has a pristine home but never uses the living room for fear of dropping a crumb. She's the person with a lovely silver collection, who is perpetually waiting to take it out for a "really special occasion." We also know someone who will invite you in at the drop of a hat. This is the neighbor who may have toys scattered across the family room carpet and a sink full of dirty dishes in the kitchen, but nevertheless, asks you to join her for a cup of coffee ------ just to chat.
Think for a moment about which type of person makes you feel more welcome and at ease...this is the host who's captured the essence of gracious entertaining.
From the first time a youngster has a play date, he has the opportunity to learn about being a gracious host. When a student has an impromptu popcorn party in her dorm room, she's learning to entertain. Several years later, when either of these individuals hosts a more traditional party, they've already mastered the fundamentals of opening their homes to guests.
This comfort level is what I will focus on in the coming months. I'll start at the ground floor and outfit you with the vocabulary of entertaining. I'll discuss theories and trends of entertaining, logistics of parties, resources for food/beverage and special events, communication skills needed to entertain, how to deal with entertaining emergencies, and finally, I'll offer a multitude of neat themes and party ideas.
My door is always open, and I welcome your comments, questions and suggestions.
The copyright of the article Everyone Can Entertain in Entertaining is owned by Janice Benoit. Permission to republish Everyone Can Entertain in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
Thanks for reading my inaugural article! Please let me know what you
think, and if you have questions for future articles! ~~~Janice~~~
Mar 18, 2006 5:53 AM
Marsha Boyd :
How can a friendly person with no genetic disposition for cooking (and no
desire to learn) entertain in her home other than inviting a friend in for
a quick cup of coffee or a glass of wine? Isn't it tacky to invite someone
over and then NOT cook for them?
Mar 18, 2006 6:43 AM
Robert Dailey :
Great article onentertaining. I really look forward to future articles. bob
Mar 18, 2006 7:17 AM
Janice Benoit :
Smugmarried, I know many people that have your same concerns. Not to
worry -- in coming articles, I will address these issues, and I can assure
you, that as long as you live near a grocery store, and you have the
courage to invite people into your space, you too can make your guests feel
welcome! ~~~Janice~~~
Mar 19, 2006 7:54 PM
Reni Winter :
Here's a trick some people I've known throughout the years have used: buy
some great deli food or other freshly prepared food from a quality grocery
store or restaurant, bring it home, put it in your own serving dishes and
serve it as your own. No one has to know unless you tell them. If they flat
out ask you for the recipe, tell them it's a secret. That's no lie!!! It
might be cheating, but you'd be surprised how many people do it.
Mar 19, 2006 7:55 PM
Reni Winter :
Here's a trick some people I've known throughout the years have used: buy
some great deli food or other freshly prepared food from a quality grocery
store or restaurant, bring it home, put it in your own serving dishes and
serve it as your own. No one has to know unless you tell them. If they flat
out ask you for the recipe, tell them it's a secret. That's no lie!!! It
might be cheating, but you'd be surprised how many people do it.
Mar 19, 2006 7:55 PM
Reni Winter :
Here's a trick some people I've known throughout the years have used: buy
some great deli food or other freshly prepared food from a quality grocery
store or restaurant, bring it home, put it in your own serving dishes and
serve it as your own. No one has to know unless you tell them. If they flat
out ask you for the recipe, tell them it's a secret. That's no lie!!! It
might be cheating, but you'd be surprised how many people do it.
Mar 22, 2006 8:37 AM
Robert Dailey :
Janice: When entertaining, I make the preparation of the food part of
the entertainment. As a pretty good Cajun cook, I begin cooking when
the guests arrive. They can sit at the food preparation island in the
kitchen, roam away to other parts of the house or out on the patio when and
if they want. I stay in the kitchen with my apron on, and invite a
casual and open atmosphere. My wife is generally in another room,
greeting and speaking with guests as they move around the house. There
is nothing formal about it. Guests are encouraged to "make themselves
comfortable." Dinner is very, very casual...with a kind of
buffet style meal, with me serving the entre from the stove. That way,
guests who are unfamiliar with the type of food I am serving can learn how
certain foods are served and eaten. There are no place markers, guests
sit where they care to. In nice weather, some will be outside watching the
sunset, others in the dining room, a couple might be in the den and one or
two might end up in the study. As a person who does not like crowds, I
try to be sensitive to those guests who go into crowd overload and need a
place to cool out, so the study and the walkways and sitting areas outside
are always available. And, because I don't like the press of people,
but also feel the need to entertain, I can stay in the kitchen doing what I
like to do, engaging in small talk or not (I can always get busy and do
something when the strain gets too much). b
Mar 22, 2006 11:13 AM
Janice Benoit :
Kudos to you, Bob, for understanding what makes for good entertaining! You
absolutely hit the nail on the head, by taking into consideration your
needs and your guests' needs. And like you, I often like to hang out in
the kitchen making sure that the service part of the party flows
seamlessly, while also giving myself some downtime from crowd overload!
